New Moon

Last month I did another moon-magic spell to find a job that pays more money than my old job.  I have not found a new job yet, but I feel more motivated to look.  Before I felt like to be a happy and fully realized person I probably had do something unconventional like live in an RV and become a professional gambler, or go join a monastery.  The thought of going to a job interview for another office-job, going in and pretending I don't hate convention and being alive and all of humanity and the universe itself seemed impossible.  Now I think I just need to work smarter.  I need to cut down on the distractions in my life.  So many times on the weekend I would be bored and desire a new project to work hard on, and it never even occurred to me to do something that is actually relevant to my career.  Then during the week at work I would feel so insecure and out-of-the-loop.  I do appreciate what a well-rounded person I am, having spent so much time reading about a variety of topics, but now perhaps it's time to focus on more narrow interests.

But I do not even understand what keeps me motivated.  I think people who are hard-core believers in "accomplishing things" and having a "career" etc. are suckers.  But then again, what else would I spend my time doing?  While I am living in the world, I might as well live in it; go with the flow.  I know that in my next job there will be stress, miscommunication and impossible situations and at least a couple of coworkers who annoy the ever-loving fuck out me.  Yet I think I just need to learn how to take it on more gracefully.

My point is, sitting at home with lots of free time is not making me happy either.  Working in an office can feel empty and meaningless, but scavenging for food and navigating unconventional lifestyles is work too and then on top of that one gives up many conveniences and money-making opportunities.

As an aside, I find it strange that many of the blogging male unconventional go-getters, (I even found a blog by a guy who was actually a professional gambler and lives in a van) are into the whole Pick-Up-Artist (PUA) scene.  I naively assumed looking for unconventional ways of living was supposed to be about being enlightened, finding that deep inner contentment, peace, destiny, meaning.  But then there are these male bloggers, they write about the whole PUA scene and philosophy and it's the most shallow, materialistic dreck imaginable.  (Then for women of course there are those ridiculously fake fashion/lifestyle blogs.)

Anyway, the point of this post is to report on that spell.  I followed the instructions in the book Sacred Magic of the Angels by David Goddard again.  So far it has proven effective in changing my attitude towards work.  I evoked the angel Sachiel.  The very next day I found my mindset was different.

I have also slowly been reading The Sea Priestess by Dion Fortune.  I find it pretty boring, to be honest.  The author's prissy British sensibilities really bog the story down, and it does not seem to be teaching me much.  One interesting coincidence is that the main character starts coming down with asthma.  Some months ago I started getting a similar problem, after having no asthma symptoms ever in my life.  For me its not so bad though, I just cough and wheeze a bit, especially directly after eating too much sugary junk food.