Update

I finished reading The Demon Lover by Dion Fortune yesterday.  I found the beginning of the book very engaging but then by the end it was boring.  The book is about an innocent young lady who gets hired by a left-handed occultist who wants to use her as a trance medium so that she may help him discover some words power.  Soon things start getting a little romantic between them, and I will not spoil any more of the plot.  I like this story because its the same as a fantasy daydream that I have: working for and having a romance with a powerful man, who makes use of my psychic abilities.  But in my fantasy the female would not be innocent and helpless, and the man would already be politically powerful, not some talented loner.  The really interesting parts to take away from the novel are the parts describing the occult lodge and how they operate, and the explanations of occult phenomena and abilities.

The other day I did the first pathworking exercise from The Initiate's Book of Pathworkings.  I did it in conjunction with the Qabbalah pathworking for The Hermit card, which represents the path between Tiphareth and Chesed remember.  I studied the pathworking very closely, and took notes, practically memorizing it.  The first time I read it, I found it powerfully and unexpectedly evocative; I picture the events (the initiation of an Egyptian Priest) happening on a fresh and clear sunny day; the initiate is tan, monk-like and bald-headed like Avatar: The Last Airbender.  I felt a bit unsure about what parts of the pathworking were really crucial.  It's important to improvise and use one's "active imagination", but there must be some framework to it too.

I intuit that the following actions in a pathworking should receive special attention:

• Receiving and giving objects
• Emotional reactions to events
• Interactions with gods or representations of them
• Putting on or taking off clothing or other wearable items.

In the days after doing the pathworking, I felt the generic effect of having more energy.  I do not know if it is related but lately it has been sinking into my mind that it is important not to spend too much time dwelling on criticism.  It apparently serves as a block to prevent one from paying attention to useful information.  I note in myself and others a tendency to ignore important facts and information just because the source or form of the information is unsatisfactory.

I noted that lesson when I was reading Magical Use of Thought Forms, I've read most of it now.  That book was disappointing.  It is packed full of tangential filler discussion yet at the same time lacks information that would have been useful.  The essays about imaginary and complex numbers and math were especially painful.  I kept thinking, "Why are you raping math?  What did math ever do to you?"  The "Herbie" author, I think it is important to note, is someone who is not on my wavelength, so to speak, so I would avoid other books by him.  Dolores Ashcroft-Dowicki, I found her thinking much more palatable, and she sounds quite wise and experienced, but she makes it clear she does not want to her writing to be too informative.  Her chapters are sprinkled with mysterious little allusions she makes no intention of explaining at all.  Putting aside petty criticism of how they think and write, I am disappointed in the practical exercises.  The exercises, such as practicing visualizing basic shapes, are good to do, but they are obvious, exactly the kind of exercise that I (someone less experienced) would come up with on my own anyway.  I think ultimately her books are just a supplement to courses she teaches or something.

While it is important to read books and pay attention to the useful information instead of criticism, when possible, I think it is important to read authors with whom a rapport is felt (read authors that are not annoying...).  I think in that case there is some underlying psychic bond which facilitates communication and understanding above and beyond what is written on the page.