This blog is written by a nutjob; a total crackpot. I'm a new-agey conspiracy-theory-believing crystal-worshipping hippie and I am not going to apologize for it. I believe that anything is possible, and no idea should be dismissed with ridicule. I believe in the afterlife, reincarnation, gods, fairies, UFOs, bigfoot, the Annunaki, magic, demonic possession. Even Mr. Easter Bunny deserves credit for existing, in a way, on the astral or other metaphysical planes.
I am a private person, so I am not going to reveal too much personal identifying information about myself here. I'll just say that I am female, American, my ethnic background is non-white. I work as an engineer. I like to play video games and sometimes do arts and crafts.
I use the name Blue Mage because I think of myself of being like a blue mage (as from the Final Fantasy video games) in that I like to learn a variety of things. I like to learn by example.
I identify as being a sensitive person, one with Asperger syndrome, or schizotypal personality disorder, a crystal child, a star seed, a prodromal schizophrenic, or an indigo child -depending on which day of the week it is.
Some might recognize the allusion to Dion Fortune in the title I chose for this blog. This is because Dion Fortune is my hero. I have never come across another writer whose thinking is/was so much like my own. I have come up with my own ideas only to find out later she had the same ones. Her book on the Qabalah changed my life, it was one of the first books I read which got me interested in occultism. Her writing is straighforward yet inspirational. There are a some places where she expects reading-between-the-lines by those in the know, but for the most part she just tells it like it is with much less pomp and rambling compared to other occult authors.
I do have criticisms of her as being elitist, racist, and homophobic. There really is no excuse for someone, especially an occultist, to think that way. I do not buy the excuse that people are just a product of their times and culture. If someone communicates to their higher self, spirit guides, or other higher power then their ideas should reflect that.
The other day I finished the book her fictional book The Secrets of Doctor Taverner. I was deeply impressed the book, and it was quite educational. At first I found it overly-didactic and lacking in literary stylishness, but then the story "Daughter of Pan" stirred in my heart a longing for, or perhaps a real connection to those primeval, pagan energies. The story about a vampire finally explained to me what real-deal is about blood-drinking vampires after wondering for years, and only coming across fluff about "psychic vampires" and other irrelevant stuff.
But the very end of the book was the coup de grace. In the end, the main character describes his feelings and experience as he goes out to some "muggle" conference after having spent so much time with the strange Dr. Taverner. His experience, which must have been written from Fortune's experience, is so much like own... it was extremely moving.
I hope my blog will be useful or interesting to those interested in occultism, magic, and other fringe subjects that usually do not get the intelligent attention they deserve. For myself, the blog will serve as a tool to organize my thoughts, track my progress, and keep notes of my studies.
I also think it is worth saying that there are some subjects I would prefer to avoid. I am not interested in ignorant "skeptics", teenagers whining about their parents not letting them practice Wicca, pontifications on who is a "real" occultist or pagan or whatever, endless ruminations on how very hard it is (cue sarcastic tiny-violin music) to be a "magical" person in today's society, nor am I interested in meta-discussion on how there are so many mean-spirited discussions about who is a real occultist or pagan or whatever. Don't get me wrong, I think those are worthwhile subjects, I am just really tired of them. I just want to focus on how-to, practice, experience, troubleshooting, step-by-step instruction.
But I am not all about cold hard facts and logic. I think there should be an aesthetic component when studying and practice magic. I imagine the typical earth-centered pagan likes to feel pretty like a nymph or a fairy, or wild and strong like a beast. A ritual magician likes to feel intellectually exalted like a tenured Harvard professor with 9 Phd-s, others like to feel pure and aloof and mystical.
As for me, I like to feel like a wise experienced wizard surrounded by books and bubbling beakers and astrolabes, or a mathematician at his desk dedicated to proving a thereom. Other times I like imagining I am a craftsman covered in dust and paint, or an auto-mechanic covered in oil and grim, absorbed in the process of my work, practically one with it. I do the mystical and aloof thing too.
Anyway, that is more than enough about myself. It pains me to be so frank, I would never do it in real life. But I think it is worthwhile here.
No comments:
Post a Comment